I like to think I'm an honest person.
Recently, I'm not sure I've been so honest. And I'm not sure where the line is. Because the people I've been really honest with are getting tired. I'm exhausting them. And the other people, well, I don't tell them the truth because they don't want to hear it, they don't care.
Dark circles don't lie. Maybe I should start wearing make-up.
None of that is what I intended to say.
The truth is, I'm weary. I don't want to be, but it isn't that I want to not be either.
I was doing so much better. I think I am, still. Its just that my being alive isn't celebrated. Because its expected, because everyone else feels like they are dying too. So, I just give in. I give in to being sad...because it makes sense to be sad in this world, doesn't it?
I tend to look for the good in people. But, I often do so at the detriment of myself. I see the good in them, and I see the exact opposite in myself. I always feel like I'm not as good, never good enough.
All of this is like fighting an invisible opponent. You just end up being exhausted and looking like a fool.
1 comment:
wow what to say to this? in so many ways I can identify. Sometimes I just get overwhelmed with the world. Do I really want to spend the rest of my life working with ungrateful people? do I really have what it takes or do I pretty much suck at this thing? But I guess I find comfort in the fact that I know God thinks highly enough to me to put me where I am and He's done so many amazing and fun things in my life that it's worth living just to see what He will do with it. College will tire you out like nothing I have ever experienced. Your cousin is over here praying for you. Hope you had a good birthday.
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